About

My name is Em. Five years ago, I came out as a lesbian, finally feeling at peace with myself, and with my identity. When I met Alvar, he still identified as a woman. Now he is in the process of transitioning into the gender that he has always felt that he belonged to.

This is our story. I am writing it from a partner’s point of view, but Alvar will be with me, making comments, letting me know his thoughts. What I write here will be based on our conversations, and the practical steps that we take in order to match the person that Alvar is on the inside, with the person that he is perceived to be from the outside.

The narrative of transgender and non binary people is often one of isolation, and of violence. In my mind, ensuring the rights of transgender people is one of the biggest challenges the LGBTQIA+ community is facing right now. There is so much to be done. There is so much to be written.

What I hope is that this blog can provide some information and support for those of you who are thinking about going through a transition, or who are questioning your identity in some way. While Alvar is figuring out what kind of person he would like to present to the world, I have found myself flung out of my lesbian identity, no longer knowing which category I belong to. Alvar’s journey to become recognised as a man, is my journey too.

There is not much written about lesbians with FTM (female to male) partners; the stories that I have found focus on the exclusion from the lesbian community, the sense of being in between groups, and the loss of, or the fear of losing, the partner that one fell in love with. I understand that fear. I feel it too sometimes. But I think that we need more stories. About the way that love always finds new combinations of colours, as long as it has canvasses big enough to paint them on.

Cardamom is a versatile spice, it can be used in both savoury stews and sweet pastries. It is traditionally used in the Asian cuisine, but it can also be found in old recipes from the Nordic countries. In short, it is a queer ingredient. This is something to be celebrated.

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